Thank Goodness I Answered The Phone, So thought The Recruiter

I just got the funniest phone call I think I've ever received. I answered and this very nice "older" gentleman asked for my daughter. This concerned mother asked who was calling and he proceeded to tell me his name and then says from the United States Air Force recruiting office. I said to him, there is no way my daughter has an interest in joining the United States Air Force! I was laughing out loud and then I asked him if he ever saw the movie with Goldie Hawn, Private Benjamin, he told me he had and I told him my daughter would be her in the scene where she is screaming I WANT TO GO OUT TO LUNCH! And that would only be the beginning! He was at this point laughing while still trying to be serious. He said she could go to college with a GI bill. I told him that she was interested in any guy named Bill but not from the service, and had no interest in bills period as her mother still pays hers! And then a few questions came to mind, sir I asked, do they have a nail shop on base? He said she could get nails at the commissary, why would she need nails anyway? No sir, not nails that you need hammers for, but to get her fingernails painted, and do they have waxing available on base and not wax for the vehicles. Well ma'am, what kind of wax are you talking about exactly? You know for your eyebrows, perhaps your upper lip, and there was dead silence on the other end! Sir, are you still there? Um, yes....I'm just trying to fathom waxing your lip, or chin. Doesn't your wife ever do this? Silence again.... I could just see his face pondering if his wife has a hairy lip and him picturing her with hot wax on it, although, I'm betting he didn't even know the wax was hot. Should I call him back and clue him in? Hello, are you still with me? Yes ma'am, I'm here, a few more questions for you, is there a Forever 21 or a Sephora on base? Well, we have a Chinese restaurant not far from here. Great, my daughter hates Chinese food, she needs to shop and Sephora is a make up store, she'll want to match her make up with her uniform. We don't allow make up during work hours ma'am. Well sir, that could very well be the deal breaker!While I have you on the phone, help me out here, tell me about boot camp, can she wear her UGG's. UGG's he asked, yes, you know the warm fur lined boots that the teens wear. I don't think so he answered. Well is there anyone you could ask, perhaps a woman? I know at this point he thought he should call someone and tell them about the crazy lady he was talking to on the phone, yet he really was laughing!As he's thinking what he could ask me next to get my daughter on the phone I asked him if in the Air Force you had to be up by 6:00 a.m., yes ma'am he said, and all I could picture was the morning's here trying to get her up for school! HA! I would give anything to see this, he further told me that beds were to be made upon getting up. You're pushing your luck here sir! Wait a minute I said, the Air Force is where you jump out of planes right? Well yes, some do, and all I could think about was my daughter was the only one who would not zip line last year on a school trip and they want her up, bed made, no make up on, and jumping out of planes!The only time my daughter will get up at 6:00 a.m. and be bright eyed and bushy tailed is on Black Friday, (shopping) Would she be deployed? ( the mama worry gene was kicking in!) Well now that depends on when the President pulls the rest of the troops out, but, probably not. No you said? That's right, well Sgt., that WAS the deal breaker, if my daughter can't travel the world with the Air Force, she can't join, but it certainly has been fun talking with you today, you've opened my eyes! And ma'am, you've made me laugh!
 How about if I talk with your daughter. I'd be more than happy to let you talk with her but I just hung up with her as she is currently in Amsterdam and I am paying this bill! Now he was really laughing, and I'm sure he was having a Maxwell House coffee shop memory of his own!