I'm sure the whole country knows by now that one pound, yes, 16 measly ounces came between winning the $250,000 prize on The Biggest Loser. If Jeff is anything like me or perhaps you, every excuse in the world came to mind, it was later in the day that we got weighed, I've eaten, it was some extra salt I picked up turning it into water weight, I took a three mile walk in the morning adding muscle weight and so on. Let's stop here for a minute, how does muscle weigh more than fat anyway? A pound is a pound is a pound! A pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of muscle right? Apparently not on my body!
Who has not looked in the mirror and asked themselves "does this make me look fat?" I love the excuses I can come up with for gaining weight. Some of them are, my thyroid is shutting down, even though every test from the doctor came back normal. Wait doc, did you do a TSH test? Yes Beth, perhaps you're eating more than before. I've taken up boxing, therefore I've gained muscle weight! Ha, it's okay if I gain weight do to muscle!Beth, you had cancer, you're healthy now, this is a good weight gain! No weight gain is a good weight gain in my book of how to stay beautiful during menopause! Be happy you're healthy. I am happy!Trust me on this one! I just kind of liked the size 6 look I was sporting there for awhile! Wait a minute, I bet it's the medicine I now have to take for five years, yep, that's the cause of my weight gain! Whew, one more year and I'll be back to my size 6, 525,600 minutes.... I'd rather sing 100 bottles of beer on the wall! I take every recommended supplement from Dr. Oz, haven't lost a pound! Must be all of that new found muscle! It has been suggested that I have put on weight due to menopause, and guess what folks, there is a name attached to this, it's called a menopot! Why do men get a beer belly as a name and us women get menopot? At least drinking beer is a more fun way to gain the weight. Who wouldn't be up for a game of beer pong? Or sing my favorite 100 bottles of beer on the wall song! Men have it so much easier!
It has been suggested to me that I stick with reasonable portion sizes and that filling up with healthy foods are always preferable than relying on diet foods. Wow, this is what they taught you in med school? Listen up buddy, what is a reasonable portion size to you is an appetizer to me! On a good day, I could just pull a chair up to the buffet! Someone suggested I eat rice cakes, they are filling with not many calories, I figured that was for all cakes, so I added chocolate cakes, pancakes....Here was the best suggestion, Beth, get a dog, you'll have to walk it several times a day, by default, you'll lose some weight! Really, I answered, while Scruffy and Fido are your best friends, Ben and Jerry happen to be mine! HA, I'm happy to walk them a few times a day....to the check out line at the grocery store!
Inches, I bet you've lost inches not pounds Beth, why yes I have! Along with my menopot, I lost 1.5 inches bringing me down to 5'5" from menopause, but guess what, I am now qualified to shop in the petite department! YAY, I love that word, unfortunately, in this case it just means I'm shorter, and don't need to get my pants hemmed anymore! Great! Is this my menopot at the end of my rainbow?Anyone up for playing patty cakes with me? I figure this a great way to lose the flapping arm wings that comes with menopause and the proverbial weight gain! Really though, the weight gain comes in handy, it's a natural filler, all of the sudden our faces have no wrinkles! Who wants to race me to the buffet?
On a side note, for those of you that have not gained weight, please send me your lucky charms, I love that cereal!